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This past week, the New York Jets strengthened their already powerful defense by trading for Chargers cornerback Antonio Cromartie. The real story is how they the Jets then fronted him $500,000 so he could pay child support for his 7 kids by 6 different women in 5 different states. Clearly, he kept himself busy during road trips. I get it dude, you travel to alot of different cities. Next time, pick up a shot glass & a t-shirt on your way out instead of making a baby you're never gonna see.
Now his story is just one in a long line of professional athletes who are having enough kids to fill up every position on a baseball field. Former Running back Travis Henry-9 kids by 9 women. That's the worst case of ADD I've ever seen! Now I completely understand why he was arrested 2 years ago for drug trafficking, he was merely trying to afford all the "baby on board" stickers for the windowns of his Chevy AstroVan.
A surprising example: Evander " The Real Deal" Holyfield-9 illiigitimate kids & a wife who just accused him of assault. Right now he wishes that his biggest problem was Mike Tyson biting his ear off.
But my favorite fertile athlete of all time: Shawn Kemp. When he faded away from the NBA amid drug & alcohol problems, he was at 7 kids by 5 women. It's now rumored that he's up to 11 kids by 9 women. And I always wondered why his nickname was the Reign Man.
Bottom line is, something has to be done. These guys aren't taking responsibility, so it's time for drastic measures. Quasto suggests a "3 Strikes Rule". That's right, once a professional athlete spawns his 3rd illigitimate child, they will undergo a league mandated vasectomy. If any athletes think that's harsh, then stop dropping your pants all over the country 'cause we got Bob Barker on speed dial & he knows where to get ya neutered! Get your act together deadbeat athletes, or there's gonna be a snippin' at your conjunction junction.
u r a renaissance man, jonny!
ReplyDelete9 wives and 9 kids= worst case of ADD, omg that's hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHappy Bloggin
Christa