Monday, June 28, 2010

Time Well Spent...

Even though the World Cup is far from over, and other countries are bound to build up even more hatred for each other over the next few weeks (along with everyone already loathing France), the United States is done, and so are the chances of me actually tuning in to watch.
Granted, I only watched about 3 minutes total of the World Cup thus far, and during those 3 minutes, Ghana scored their game winning goal against the US, so allow me to apologize to my country for being the bad luck charm.
With that said, I do appreciate all sports, and I played soccer as a fat kid in Pennsylvania (mostly Goalie, for obvious reasons). And now that I think about it, I totally could have played the goalie in "The Mighty Ducks", if I was only chasing the dream back then, dammit!
But I digress. I completely understand that there are rabid soccer fans out there, and every 4 years, their lives revolve around putting on shin guards and screaming at a TV every morning while giving themselves an excuse to be buzzed by 10am. I think Soccer is a fantastic game, but I have no interest in watching it, so I can only give my view of the World Cup. I have friends who put everything on the shelf to see these matches, but I got shit to do. With that said, here is a "Quasto Knows" list of all the things I accomplished instead of watching the 2010 World Cup:
1. Slept past 4:30am
2. Slept past 7:30am
3. Re-discovered my long lost relationship with Life Cereal
4. Facebooked
5. Got home after 2 am on many nights, knowing I wasn't going to be waking up to watch the World Cup
6. Told jokes on stage, making no references to who was winning World Cup games
7. Found a bunch of old mix cd's from 8-10 years ago. Enjoying them thoroughly
8. Got a new Cell Phone & switched from Verizon to T-Mobile
9. Hung out with Rowdy Roddy Piper & gave him advice on which pillow to buy to relieve neck pain
10. Used my TIVO space to record many other things besides World Cup games
11. Bought a new V-neck t-shirt
12. Told myself I'd stop putting my comedy show schedule on Myspace. Too unreliable
13. Decided that I hated Cameron Diaz even more after seeing the commercial for "Knight & Day"
14. Got a haircut
15. Watched the NBA Draft, because that's a sport with it's priorities in order (average 5 points a game, make millions)
16. Watched Telemundo for the right reasons (Latinas with massive boobies)
17. Thought about what bullshit it was that I never got chosen to my Youth League Soccer All-star team as a Goalie. Hmm, could that explain my complete disinterest in the World Cup? Perhaps I'll revisit this theory in 4 years. Happy Futbol everyone!

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